Ramblings and Musings
from Evelynne
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2000-11-28 - 986029069
On the internal soundtrack: Some song from "West Side Story". I think it's "Tonight", but the part I'm stuck with is not from the chorus.
Aha. Found the lyrics. "Only you, you're the only thing I'll see forever..." All this because my MIL mentioned that she likes Robert Downey Jr., which made me think of his movie "Only You", with Marisa Tomei.
One of the things that fascinates me is how thoughts jump from one topic to another. Someone mentioned in a journal once that they like to catch themselves and try to trace their thoughts back to where they came from. It's similar to tracing a conversation ("How did we get started talking about this?"), but the leaps are a lot weirder since they don't have a filter.
Y'know, old people sometimes make me crazy. They lie about how much pain they're in, refuse to go to the doctor or the hospital, think the doctor is just making it up when he tells them it's important to drink fluids, and have weird ideas that it's an embarrassment to use a hearing aid or a wheelchair.
Why IS that? Megan thinks it's a generational thing. I guess it must be. Of all the older (75+) folks in my family, only one of them is sensible about this sort of thing. And she's got diabetes, I think, so that would explain it -- she's been living with disease her whole life and doesn't get all wigged out by doctors or needing a little bit of help here and there.
When is it that my ideas about life and society are going to become rigid? When am I only going to be able to see through a lens that was formed 20 years earlier? Is there any way to keep changing the lens?
Maybe 20 or 30 years ago it was embarrassing to be in a wheelchair, but it certainly isn't anymore. Does anybody give a shit? Even if they do, why should *I* give a shit? You can bet your ass that if I ever have trouble walking but still have a desire to go places, I'll be there, in my wheelchair. I've gone my whole life being unable to talk on the phone or go to the movies or understand mumblers without asking other people for help, so I certanly hope I'm not gonna get freaked out when I need to depend on people a little more in my old age.
I am writing this in the hope that when I am 70, I will read it again. If I am being crotchety and not doing what it takes to keep myself as comfortable as possible and able to enjoy life, maybe this entry will be a kick in the pants.
A little more on the taking-care-of-yourself issue and then I'll shut up.
My MIL has various medical conditions that fix it so she can't eat animal fats and she's in constant pain. She hurts. All the time.
Sounds like she's bedridden and taking lots of pills, doesn't it?
No.
She goes to aerobics every morning. She maintains the landscaping she designed and implemented in her house. She cleans house more often and more thoroughly than anyone I've ever heard of.
She maintains an excruciatingly low-fat diet and makes it taste damn good. So good, in fact, that most of our recipes are from her. She quit drinking, and hasn't had a hamburger in years.
Most of us do not have the energy level that Poindexter's mom does. But the woman is positively inspirational. Once you've seen what she does, there's really no excuse for any kind of whining anymore.
If I could just make sure I have a tenth of her determination and willpower when I get old, I'll be in good shape.
