Ramblings and Musings
from Evelynne
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2000-10-10 - 986026744
On the internal soundtrack: A repetitive childhood hand-game rhyme. I'm up to "Heaven-dee-doodle, heaven-dee-doodle, half past seven" (see below).
Well, I am home. I am very, very tired. It was a very fun, very tiring visit to Philly.
Part of the reason I'm so tired is that my nose and lungs are extremely unhappy that I subjected them to a five-hour smoke-filled reception. Every other person at the reception was a smoker. It didn't bother me at the time, but I spent all day yesterday blowing my nose. As if I had a cold. Sucks shit.
I was all excited about planning a family dance party, and everyone else seems enthusiastic, but I'm going to have to either be prepared to suffer the next day, or find a way to suck the smoke out of the room. I'm hoping that a box fan in a window next to the smoker's table will help.
The dance party, btw, would be a potluck, with a DJ who would play nothing but songs that we request. I told the family to start keeping a list of their favorite dance songs on the fridge. It will be fun to dance with the family wearing jeans and comfortable shoes for a change.
I'll always be thankful that I had all those years of experience with performing in public -- piano recitals, competitions, etc. -- and I was able to keep a grip on myself during my ceremony. My knees were knocking, hands were sweating, and I was holding on to Poindexter's hands for dear life, but no one in the audience had a clue. Poindexter, says he was mellow from his beers (we had the cocktail hour BEFORE the ceremony) and was doing okay until the music stopped and I was up there with him; at that point he got lightheaded and had tunnel vision.
The thing is, I can't figure out what's so nerve wracking about it. Partly it's the tremendous step you're taking -- even if you're 100% certain you're doing the right thing (and a lot of people aren't), it's still a Big Step. Plus you're standing up in front of a bunch of people and you're the center of attention. Not to mention you don't want to screw up and make an ass of yourself.
