2003-11-24 - 10:36 a.m.

On the internal soundtrack: "Imagine" (dammit, Eric!), John Lennon

November 12

I am still busybusybusy (work, parents stayed over this weekend, and hearing aid issues) but:

1. Thank you so much for all the lovely comments for my last entry about the hearing aids and music. I am overwhelmed to know that all of you are so happy for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will respond individually to everyone at some point, but it may be another week.

2. Last week was very frustrating with the hearing aids speech-wise. In everyday settings (not music) I was getting lots of sounds that were hurting my ears so we turned things way down in an emergency tweak session on Thursday. This meant I spent a week with very little in the way of high frequencies. This makes speech difficult to understand (it sounds muffled, like I'm underwater). It also makes me incredibly cranky. Today I had another session, and he gave me back some of those highs, and so far it seems much better. I asked the audiologist to boost the low tones a tad. The big test will be talking to Poindexter tonight.

This has made things very interesting. I'm hearing all kinds of sounds clearly that only barely registered before. These include annoying sounds such as:

My slippers shuffling on the carpet
My stomach gurgling and growling
Unexplained noises outside and down the street
My pants legs swishing as I walk

I still can't hear beeps and whistles that I could hear with the old aids (microwave beeps, alarm system beeps, boiling teakettle whistle, or even my own whistling), but I assume he'll bump those up for me next week.

And yes, I have a really noisy stomach, to the point that it will gurgle loudly during a conversation, causing Poindexter to look down at it in shock and then laugh hysterically.

November 20

Last weekend (Nov 14th) we took a day (er, evening) trip to Virginia to attend CineKit and look at the pretty girls. I got to meet the lovely Kat, who had to deal with me gushing over her hair all evening (it is waist-length and a deep rich red color). I said "I want your hair," to which Poindexter said, "You'll have to wait for Christmas." And of course I met the ADORABLE Chelsea, who gave me a big hug the minute she got up the stairs. I'm completely charmed by her warmth and Texan accent and could have listened to her talk all night.

Something that's only interesting to me and Poindexter: Chelsea reminds both of us very strongly of his youngest aunt. The resemblance is only there in person, not in pictures. Freaky!

I brought some of Eric's favorite Italian iced tea, just because I like him and as a thank-you for my pooping cat.

This ... I love this cat. I have him on the kitchen counter and I make him poop a few jellybeans every day. Then I put them back in! You push down on his back, and he sorta squats, and jelly beans pop out the rear. The most entertaining part is how sometimes a jellybean gets a little stuck, and you have to push several times, and then a jellybean goes flying out. Flying poop! WOOHOO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem.

Nik was kind enough to give me a cutting of sage from his yard, so if I can get that rooted, I'll have three pots of his herbs. Too cool.

I also got to meet Jay, although I didn't have nearly enough time to get to know him. I'm almost sorry we watched a movie, 'cause it ate up almost 2 hours I could have been visiting instead.

Upon arrival, Kit told me she had presents for me, and I fussed at first 'cause I'm not really a presents person. Then I found out that one present was all her ex's herbal teas that she was otherwise gonna toss. Good deal. The second present was a huge surprise -- Madbard had sent me, c/o Kit, "Secret Gifts Receivable Department", a CD of some of his music. I thought this was really sweet, and once I got a chance to listen to it, I was extremely impressed. He's got clips on his music website and you can buy the CD there.

Although, I suppose it's just as well, because right now I'm very frustrated with my new hearing aids. Music's still great, but I'm having a hell of a time getting them to be good for speech. I'm beginning to think they're just TOO LOUD. I have a double appointment on Friday -- half an hour at 10:30, then I'll go to lunch and test the settings, then go back for more tweaking at 1:30.

November 23

Background:

Probably from being very familiar with his speech patterns, I am able to understand a fair amount of what Poindexter says without looking at him. Context helps, too -- if it's fairly predictable, like if I know what he's saying is going to be one of a short list of possible answers, I do really well.

This only worked in close proximity, however. With my old hearing aids, if Poindexter was elsewhere in the house, if I hollered for him, I could only very faintly hear his reply and it wasn't good enough to hear where he was (I can't determine the direction a sound is coming from).

The story I've been leading up to:

I'm getting to the point where my hearing aids are getting better for speech, and am beginning to really enjoy them. One of the nifty things they do is pick up soft sounds and amplify them more than they amplify louder sounds. I'm now hearing an assortment of noises I was either not hearing or hearing faintly before. In the not-hearing category are the swishing of my pants legs, computer fans, and my belly gurgling, as I mentioned in a previous entry.

This also means I can hear people from ACROSS THE ROOM, and no longer have to go running over and invade their personal space to hear them. This is pretty nifty. I was pretty much bowled over when I realized it was happening. I had a 10-minute conversation with Poindexter the other night where I sat at the top of the stairs and he stood at the bottom, and I heard every word, clear as a bell. Ordinarily I would have had to run down and sit on the bottom step to talk for that long (it was something of a serious conversation).

Even more amazing to me is this:

Today I lost Poindexter in the house, so I stood in the kitchen, and hollered, "WHERE ARE YOU?!" There were several possibilities: "In the office", "In the theater room", "In the laundry room", or "In the bedroom". I can only hear the vowels of these, but that's all I need to hear to distinguish. In the past, however, I couldn't even hear the vowels. Today, though, I listened, and I heard his voice, as though he were standing near me but speaking extremely quietly. "In the bedroom". WOW.

Even more amazing was what happened tonight. I was doing dishes in the kitchen, on the 2nd floor, singing "And the Glory of the Lord" (jumping around from soprano to alto to tenor to "bass" parts as I pleased) and heard him holler for me. I had no idea what he was calling me for, so my context was broader than in the previous instance. I was expecting him to be on the 3rd floor on the open cutout overlooking the nook, but he wasn't there. I yelled, "WHAT?" And very faintly I heard him say, "I'm gonna get into the shower". (By this he means "stop running water in the kitchen so I can have some hot water, dammit")

HE WAS ON THE 4th FLOOR. I HEARD HIM ACROSS TWO FLOORS.

I ran upstairs and opened the shower door and yelled in his face ('cause I'm a yeller), "I HEARD YOU FROM DOWN IN THE KITCHEN!!!" He yelled back, grinning, "YES YOU DID!"

This is just amazing. These hearing aids don't make me a hearing person, and I still have lots of either tweaking or psychological/physiological adjusting to get myself totally happy with everyday speech (especially in groups), but the little improvements I'm seeing so far -- due to technology that only became available for profound losses in the past year or two -- are just amazing.

November 24

Mush alert (well, sorta).

My husband and I say "I love you" a lot. Like, multiple times a day. I say it almost whenever I have a mushy feeling, which is often, given how wonderful Poindexter is. This is in addition to the kisses and hugs he gets when I get a mushy feeling.

What I didn't realize until just the other day is that -- and this is really weird! -- we rarely return it with an "I love you too." If we're having a seriously mushy moment, we do, I think. Otherwise, when we say it when we're just happy being together, we don't return it.

Instead, Poindexter will say "You better" most often (from the Who song) or "You should"; sometimes he says "Good".

I say "Y'ought to", "Yes you do", "Good", or "I know" (from Empire Strikes Back, usually said somewhat tenderly or in an "I'm so lucky" tone) and oftentimes "Thank you" (from the beer commercial, except I do mean it). Sometimes he'll get "Why?" from me when I can tell he's feeling mushy because of something I've just done that he thought was cute, and I want to know specifically what incited the mush.

What I can't believe is that it took me this long to notice it.

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