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2001-05-11 - 4:36 p.m.
On the internal soundtrack: "Spin the Bottle", Juliana Hatfield?
As if garbagemen who mistake dirt-filled pots with germinating seeds in them for garbage isn't bad enough, now there's this:
This morning on my way out the door I stopped to see how my mini-roses were doing. I was going to take a picture once the bush was in full bloom. But there were only three open blooms, which was very odd because I'd seen over a dozen buds last week.
I looked closer, and some of the buds appeared to have been BITTEN INTO.
Looked a little more, and there, perched on top of a bud, munching away calmly as you please and oblivious to the angry human face hovering above it, was a VERY FAT light-green caterpillar.
That.
Little.
Fucker.
I batted him off the plant and onto the sidewalk and combed through the plant looking for any possible accomplices. I didn't find any. He has been eating and eating and eating -- I counted at least six ruined buds. And he didn't even finish some of them before moving on to another! Not only is he greedy, he's WASTING FOOD!
So I picked him up on the Giant saver card attached to my key ring, and took him across the street and threw him into the park, which has nothing but grass and evergreen bushes. So either he'll starve to death, or he'll have a miserable life eating boring grass. No flowers for you, you bastard.
If he doesn't find his way back to my roses, that is. I'll have to keep an eye out for him and for his friends. Might even have to spray the thing.
Ugh.
Here's the IM discussion from this morning:
Evie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Evie: A FAT UGLY LIGHT GREEN CATERPILLAR ATE ALL MY ROSE BUDS!!!!!!!!!!
Poindexter: Oh no!
Poindexter: You poor thing.
Evie: HE ATE OVER HALF OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Evie: FUCKER!!!!!!!!
Poindexter: I think this gardening thing is too stressful for you.
He might be right. I am mentally prepared for stuff to die on me, but not for people to throw my plants away or for tiny green gourmets to feast on them. Actually, I just need to adjust my preparedness for the worst, and learn to keep an eye out for pests.
