2005-01-07 - 11:05 p.m.

On the internal soundtrack: Some Bob Mould song

My first words to Poindexter today were "I have a new pain this morning."

In the last few years, I've been dismayed to discover that getting older means my body is turning wimpy. When I wake up in the morning, I hurt. I'm stiff. It's pretty mild pain and stiffness, and it goes away after I move around a bit, but it's there. My parents and older coworkers assure me that it's only going to get worse. This morning (and continuing into today) I have a bizarre pain in my leg that starts on the sole of my foot. Lovely.

This pain thing has been something of a shock. Poindexter and I were discussing the feeling of invincibility that teenagers supposedly have, that often results in them doing some colossally stupid, dangerous things. I never had that feeling of invincibility -- I'm too much of a hypochondriac for that -- but I did think (not precisely consciously) that I would never get old. Until I was in my mid-twenties, anyone over 25 might as well have been a different species. Now I look at my elders as being me-in-five-years or me-in-twenty-years or me-if-I'm-lucky-enough-to-live-that-long. Since I'm going through a period of unusual vanity and attention to appearance and accoutrements, there's a lot of I-hope-I-look-as-good-as-she-does-when-I'm-43.

And now many people under 25 look like little children to me, half-formed, because so many of them haven't even figured out who they are yet. I wouldn't mind having my 15-year-old pain-free body back, but I wouldn't want to be fifteen again, ever.

Ain't got no point to all this. Just sayin'.

From an e-mail to a friend:

We just passed the point where we've been living in this house longer than we lived in the house we own in Virginia, where we lived from December 29, 1999 through March 14, 2002. This is now the one place we've lived longer than we have lived in any other place since graduating from college. I wonder how long I'll have to live here before moving will seem like a foreign concept. I still don't feel like Philadelphia is "home" yet in the way I felt Virginia was (I lived there for the better part of 7 years) -- I am still getting used to how things are different here. Somehow, living in this area as a child doesn't count.

Speaking of milestones, Poindexter and I have now been:

- A committed couple for 9 years.
- Living together for almost 8.
- Married for almost 6.

It seems like I just married him yesterday. Not sick of him yet.

And finally, here are the other two items I got from Victoria's Secret -- dark-wash jeans in a smaller size, since their sizes are now bigger (FUCKERS!) and I had to return the pair I bought earlier, and a "rose bloom tweed" sweater that is TOASTY warm. I took this picture with the timer on the camera, so my head is cut off. I was trying to imitate the pose in the catalog photo, but I ended up taking a mirror-image photo so I had to flip it horizontally. Also, I cannot do that serious model look on purpose, so I laughed instead.

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