2004-11-01 - 6:58 p.m.

On the internal soundtrack: "Is It Really So Strange?", The Smiths

ATTENTION PARENTS.

WHEN YOU DON'T SEND OR ACCOMPANY YOUR KIDS OUT DOOR-TO-DOOR TRICK-OR-TREATING, YOU RUIN MY HALLOWEEN.

The doorbell rang twice and I gave candy to five children. That was it. WTF am I supposed to do with ten pounds less ten pieces of candy?!

Doorbell rang at 5:45. That was my down-the-street neighbor, dressed as Jasmine and looking as adorable as ever. She rang the doorbell when I was on the top floor putting my skeleton earring in, so I didn't have time to use the Scream costume. Her mom told me that she'd already gotten a ton of candy going door-to-door in the building where her daycare is, or something like that. I guess that explains it -- why go trick-or-treating in the neighborhood where your neighbor is waiting with her hands clasped for the doorbell to ring if you can load up on candy at daycare? *fume*

Next there was a girl and her mom who remembered us from last year (the girl hid behind her mom after ringing the doorbell). The mom loves us -- "I love how you stand there [in your mask]," she said to Poindexter. (He stands quietly a ways back from the door and waits for people to notice him.) Another couple girls came by while the door was already open and were gone again so quickly I didn't get a good look at them.

We stuck the gross rubber hand under the closet door so it looked kinda like we had a body in the closet. Someone noticed that and liked it.

Then Poindexer thought he heard the doorbell, and I threw open the door with the mask on, and there are six boys out there in costumes, all with their backs to the door. So I just stood there, and finally one turned around and said, "Holy shoot!" They were playing with a tiny football, and showed no interest in me whatsoever, so I said, "Do you want candy or should I go back inside?" They informed me that they were just playing and would be around later for candy.

They never did come back. Which is a shame, because one of them was dressed up like an Eagles fan, complete with a pillow under his Eagles jersey, painted face, and a hat with the beer mugs on either side and clear straws leading to his mouth. I would've liked to get a picture of that.

While the door was open then, a dad came by carrying a small dragon who was utterly shocked to see Poindexter. Poindexter took pity on the poor dear and lifted his mask to show him it was just pretend, but it didn't seem to help much.

And... that was it. The end. Halloween was over. Pfft.

This was a better Halloween. So was this.

In honor of The Halloween That Wasn't, I figured today would be a good day to show you my "librarian costume". Since a number of you have a ... thing ... for librarians, all but one of the enclosed poses is rather suggestive. And yet I am fully dressed, so in that sense the photos should be worksafe.

Notice my tweed BAG in #1. TWEED OVERLOAD!!! Ordinarily I would not wear those two items together but for the picture I just had to.

Picture #2 is my personal favorite, with #3 a close second. The smiling pictures look genuine because they are -- I was laughing so much during this photo session that I had to really WORK to hold my face still for the unsmiling poses.

Two things (background):

1. When I sit in the passenger seat of the car, I always put my feet up on the dash. This has the unintended (but well-received by certain parties) side effect of making my butt easy for the driver to grab, if he should care to do so. Not that he wouldn't still try to grab it if I was sitting like a normal person, but I digress.

2. Poindexter and I often have the same argument in the car. He gets exasperated with people who don't immediately move into his lane in front of them when he is letting them in. I insist that he's not giving them enough room, that people need more visual space behind them before they'll feel comfortable cutting in front. We were having this argument this morning on the way to work.

This time, however, Poindexter argued that there was plenty of room in the lane next to ours for the person he was letting in to speed up and have as much room as he needed. I realized he was right, and yelled, "FINE! FINE! YOU WIN!"

Poindexter cackled, and said, "I win!" plus some other irritating gloating-winner phrases I forget now. Then he grabbed my butt and squeezed, and said delightedly, "To the victor go the spoils!"

Maybe you had to be there, but I laughed my ass off.

We leave for WV tomorrow. Goodbye! I'm 'netless for a week! Please leave a comment here if you've got a journal entry you particularly want me to see, because I really don't know if I'll be able to catch up from an entire week with no internet.