2002-10-08 - 6:48 p.m.

On the internal soundtrack: Same as the last entry.

Sigh.

Last week sometime, they played "The Nearlywed Game" on Howard, wherein the gang had to try to guess what their SO would answer to certain questions.

One of the questions was, "What would your woman like to change about herself?" Could be anything -- physical, emotional, whatever.

Poindexter and I were playing the game in the car, and he struggled for a while to come up with the right word. "You'd like to be more forward," was how he put it.

In other words, ballsier. More assertive. Yep. That would be the thing I'd change.

It's weird. There are certain things, usually related to something I know about myself, that I won't back down on. I can be very stubborn about that stuff. Even when everybody is telling me to do something because it's "practical" -- such as move in with Poindexter immediately when I moved to San Jose rather than get my own place for a while -- I won't do it if I know I'm not ready for it. Even if "readiness" is only a month or so away.

But other things, that aren't specifically about ME, well, I am more of a pushover. I hate it. I am a pushover when I don't know enough about something to be certain that my position is valid.

Last week the floor guys came in with lengths of shoe molding that were too short to go all the way across a couple of walls. There was going to be a seam. I didn't want this. The guys tried to tell me that they couldn't get longer lengths than that. I said, "I've seen them longer at Home Depot." I told them to stop working until I talked to the owner of the company. I knew what I was talking about, so I was confident, although I hate the whole confrontation thing. And I'm probably far too polite -- "I just don't want you to waste your time until this is worked out" -- in a situation where I was more or less calling them on some bullshit. But I got what I wanted, and didn't back down, so I was okay with that situation.

Other times, I'll be pretty sure something isn't quite right, but I can't articulate my position clearly enough (don't have the technical terms) or I don't know enough to be certain about my position.

For example. (Now we get to what inspired this entry.) The carpets that we have are made a frieze, which is a sort of loose cut pile. With the exception of a few small areas, there appears to be a gap between the edge of the carpet and the baseboard molding.

So today, the carpet guys came back, and I showed them the "good areas" versus the "bad areas", and asked if the "bad areas" could be fixed. The team leader said no. He said that it is partially "the nature of the carpet", and partially because the baseboard is not painted all the way down to the floor, and the dark color gives the illusion of a gap.

Here's the thing: He was a pleasant guy, but I'm not sure that I believe him. In some areas, despite the darker color at the bottom of the baseboard (I have to dig through the carpet to see it) there is no gap, illusory or otherwise.

I tried to point this out, and he just said, "No, look, see, the carpet goes all the way to the baseboard, you can feel it."

And I could feel it, but it STILL DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT. The pile seems to be shorter there, so it still looks gap-y.

The other thing Poindexter wanted me to ask about was a couple of dirty spots on the carpet. I mentioned that my husband would like them cleaned, and they said, "Well, maybe that was the hardwood floor guys, they were doing work that day." I said, "The hardwood floor guys did not come into this room." And he said, "No, the carpet is new, it was clean when we installed it; if we had made a spot we would have cleaned it." I said, "Well, I guess I can't prove who did it." He laughed and said, "Well, I'm not taking you to court." At that point I just dropped it.

So, his attitude seemed to be that it could not POSSIBLY have been them who made the carpet dirty, even though we called about it a day or two after it was done and, like I said, the hardwood guys did not go into that room. It was one freakin' spot. I personally was just going to Resolve it myself, but Poindexter said, "I didn't pay five grand to clean the workmen's spots." It was bad enough that they left the carpet littered with scraps and staples (vacuuming afterward is not store policy, apparently). Anyway, this weasely attitude bugged me -- a straightforward "I'm sorry, we won't clean that" would have been better -- and made me less inclined to believe what he said about the gaps.

So, what's the deal here? Is there really nothing that can be done, or does he not want to do it? If he doesn't want to do it, why not? He doesn't want to admit that he and his team screwed it up? What? Does a non-gapped carpet require more money and expertise than we paid for?

So, I caved. I said, "Fine, thank you, that was all I wanted to ask about." They left. And now I'm irritated. And the whole problem is that I don't *know* for sure if it's the baseboard color and stuff -- maybe there really is nothing they can do. I mean, maybe the good areas are because the baseboard is painted deeper into the carpet. I can't really MEASURE these things.

I do have one avenue left, though. I can call the store and ask them to send the owner down (the one who actually sold us the carpet). If he says the same thing, I'd be more inclined to believe him. If nothing else, he might not be so defensive and may know if there's something we can do to minimize the gappy appearance.

Argh.

So anyway. Yes, I'd like to be more assertive. I'd like to know how to bluff -- or at least be more persistent -- when I'm not 100% certain. Shit.

I'm working on it. Sigh.

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