2002-06-26 - 12:08 p.m.

On the internal soundtrack: "Maxwell's Silver Hammer", Beatles

Man, y'know, I was looking back at some entries from March 2001, and I had SO MUCH to write about then. I'm not sure what happened. Did the novelty of writing wear off? Am I too busy DOING to have time to write? Did my muse desert me? I'm not sure. I don't seem to have the same inclination to write at length anymore.

I do know that something happened after September 11th. I'm not sure why. The little things I used to write about are still the major focus of my life. The big shock of 9/11 only served to reassure me that yes, my life is the way I want it to be, and boy am I glad I wasn't wasting it. But somehow, writing about it became difficult.

I used to write a lot about libertarian issues, but that has sort of trickled off. My focus right now is more on foreign affairs, which I really know nothing about and have trouble keeping straight in my head, so I don't feel qualified to write anything about it.

Anyway, I'm trying to just write a little every day, even if it's boring, in the hope that I can get back into a journal-writing groove.

So, we have a 17-foot wall of windows in our studio. I've always been rather sensitive to light, even more so when I'm under stress. There was a lot of light coming through at night -- the blinds are light-filtering, not light-blocking, and there's a lot of light in the city. So during the Project From Hell we had to put up squares of black plastic over the windows, attached to the wall above them with velcro strips.

It was a royal pain in the ass, putting up the plastic every night and taking it down every morning. We had to stand on the computer desk, the radiator, and the speakers to do it.

So finally, a week or two ago, we tried leaving it off. For the first few nights I actually slept okay. But then it started waking me up again. I'd wake up at 2am, then 3am, then 4am, always thinking it was morning and time to get up. Didn't make for very restful sleep.

So I tried using a sleep mask again. I found a way to fix it so it wasn't too tight or too loose. And I seem to be getting used to it, finally. I slept like a rock last night from 11 to 5:30, then slept again until 8. I'm relieved.

Plus, Poindexter thinks I look cute in it. I can't imagine why, but I'm not going to argue with it. Always good to look cute for the spouse.

Other random notes:

I got myself a pair of white sandals. They have a 1.5"-thick sole, so they add an inch and a half to my 5'2". I like it. I feel tall.

While looking for something else, I found a website for Sam's father's hometown. Sam was my college boyfriend, and I ended it, and he wanted nothing more to do with me. But I had gotten pretty close to his parents and really enjoyed spending time with his extended family, so I am still curious about how they were doing. Unfortunately, the only information I found was obituaries, one for his grandmother and one for his uncle. Sad. I still have a blue afghan that his grandmother knitted for me.

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