2001-08-30 - 3:57 p.m.

On the internal soundtrack: "Early Morning Blues and Greens", The Monkees

Ooo, my little LJ rhapsody to the Paper Mate pen put me in a writing mood. I'll reproduce it here and expand, since LJ is mostly for interactive and political stuff rather than the journal stuff I want to save for my future self and anyone who wants to know what wacky Grand-Aunt Evelynne was like before she got old and wrinkly (all my journal entries are on my hard drive and backed up; LJ entries are not).

I love Paper Mate medium point blue pens. They have been my favorite pen all my life. Light, thin, cheap, smooth. I have tried many other pens, including fancy expensive ones, but keep returning to this one.

I love college ruled paper. Can't stand wide ruled. Hated with a passion those wide-ruled blue composition notebooks for essay tests.

When I write with a pen, I have to have something soft (like another couple sheets of paper or a magazine) underneath the paper. But when I write with a pencil (mechanical pencil preferred), I prefer writing on paper directly over the hard table surface.

It was actually sending a fax (cover sheet written up with the aforementioned pen), plus all the formulas I've been working out in pencil that made me bring that up. But I've also been thinking about this back-to-school thing, what with all the sales and the elementary school down the street looking occupied again.

When I first graduated from college, seven years ago, when Labor Day rolled around I always had this expectant feeling. Like I should be DOING something, starting something new. It lasted a few years and seems to have finally petered out. There's nothing special about Labor Day anymore, except that it means I get a day off and my beloved Autumn-in-DC weather is just around the corner.

I do still get that slightly depressed feeling knowing winter is on the way, though. Lack of sunlight and feeling cold all the time is not my element.

At school, I used to make "semester resolutions", rather than New Year's resolutions. I can't remember what any of them were, or whether I kept up with them or not. Heh. I think I might have.

In college I quit using ring binders and switched to cheap colored pocketed folders. Different color for every class. It worked really well. Nowadays at work I use manila folders for each project, and file the folders by topic.

It's weird to think about school. I don't keep in touch with anyone from college. I didn't really make any of what I consider "real" friends there. I met my best friend (who attended another school) through my college boyfriend, Sam. But Will's frenetically busy and hard to keep in touch with. That doesn't matter much, though, since he's the kind of person where our friendship will always be the same even if we haven't spoken in 10 years. It just means we'll have more to catch up on.

There is one girl I should be keeping in touch with, actually, but I keep forgetting to write her. I have to use snail mail to do it. :) She could have a kid now for all I know.

Everyone else, though ... they were pretty much just people who were there at the time. There are so few people that I really CLICK with, enough to want to spend a lot of time with them. I had plenty acquaintances in college -- people I could have a meal with or stop and chat with or go out to a party with -- but I didn't consider them true friends because ... I dunno, it all felt like small talk to me. No real meeting of the minds, or something.

I wonder if people who constantly surround themselves with people consider all of them friends, or just a special few. My brother is like that, always with people. I'll have to ask him. (Renee, your input would be appreciated too. :)

Part of my problem might be that I'm so open. Telling people personal details about me, or about my hopes and fears, is not difficult. So there's some kind of additional level I need to feel close to someone. I need to feel like they see the world the same way that I do, maybe? The same kind of attention to everything and noticing the fine details and always asking why?

I recognize this quality in other people when I find it -- it usually means near-instant closeness that can be a little scary -- but I have a hell of a time describing it. And I've only experienced it in a handful of people in my lifetime. So it's not terribly surprising that there's no one who actually went to my "alma mater" that I'm still close to.

On to less introspective matters...

Poindexter and I are in a dither since he discovered Tower City, in south central Pennsylvania. It's a dirt-bike-riding club on privately owned land (mostly dead coal mines), where you pay for an annual membership and the rules are strictly enforced, and it's family-oriented.

One of the most annoying things about dirt bikes is that a disproportionate number of the people you encounter riding them are stupid intoxicated teenage males, busy showing off what studs they are. I really could just puke. In a place like Tower City, I can't do much about the showing-off part, but riding while intoxicated means you lose your membership and get kicked out. Not to mention this type of person might think Tower City is too tame and boring for them, and won't join in the first place.

This is one of the best uses for private land I can think of. Usually dirt bike riders are trespassing or riding on public land. Using public land means that the state can forbid ORV riding at anyone's whim. The lack of real jurisdiction over public land by the actual users also means that people who are tearing up the land rather than riding on established trails -- the kind of people who lead state officials to ban ORV riding -- can't really be stopped.

In the private club, though, everyone appreciates the land and that they're allowed to use it, and there seems to be tremendous peer pressure to behave yourself here. Nobody wants the owner of the land (who is not a dirt biker or the president of the club, but just lets the dirt bikers use it) to get pissed off and shut down the riding area, so they behave and encourage other people to behave. Check out this from the rules and regulations, buried amongst the usual "helmets must be worn at all times" predictable legalese:

[sic]

"If another member or an officer thinks you are doing something wrong and tells you about it, and if in fact you know it was wrong be quiet and stop doing it. If you don't think you did anything wrong come and talk to someone at the office. DO NOT COME BACK AT THE MEMBER OR OFFICER WITH AN ANSWER OR ATTITUDE DURING OR AFTER THE WARNING OR SUGGESTION SUCH AS (WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS ANYWAY) OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT IF YOU DO YOUR MEMBERSHIP WILL BE TERMINATED IMMEDIATELY!"

Hee.

So anyway, we have been reading the message boards and discussing them and getting all excited and trying to figure out when to go. We were gonna go this weekend, but I think I need a little more practice first, particularly in getting used to having other people around. We shall see.

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