2001-02-13 - 9:27am

Who's Who Cheat Sheet
Who I Read

On the internal soundtrack: Theme from Rocky III, I think.

So, folks, today's the big day.

I'm going to get waxed!

Or, more specifically, sugared, since it sounded slightly less disgusting than waxing. Germs don't proliferate in sugar.

My brother will be immensely relieved. He was quite grossed out when I showed him my 3/8" this weekend. I guess he's not one of those men who likes the natural look.

Speaking of which, while I was searching online for a salon that does sugaring, I happened upon this enlightened man's remark: "My wife does not shave in the winter months and just leaves her bikini line and armpits unshaved during the rest of the year it drives me crazy ... can't keep my hands off her. I think a "natural" woman is the sexiest and should leave all her hair alone."

I IM'd it to Poindexter and what did he say? "The problem is that men with this opinion are not desirable to you in any other way."

He's just jealous and doesn't want me to leave him for one of the hairy-woman lovers who finds my journal.

On the other hand, I can't deal with a man who doesn't effectively utilize punctuation. Maybe he's right.

Anyway. I don't think it'll hurt too much. It doesn't hurt much when I do it myself, and I suck at it. Hopefully with a professional it'll be nice and quick, and I can read my book to distract myself. Wish me luck.

Big discussion in the car yesterday:

What is self-esteem, and how do you get it?

(If I could figure out a bona-fide, easily-described way to give people more self-esteem, I would be rich, and the world would be a better place.)

Poindexter's definition of self-esteem was "the value you place on yourself, your confidence in your abilities and opinion of yourself as an individual."

OK, I'll go with that. If you have a high opinion of yourself, you expect other people to treat you a certain way. And when they don't, you don't waste your time on them.

Now how do you get yourself some high self esteem?

Poindexter offered this idea: It's obtained by doing what you know is the right thing. Notice that "the right thing" is highly individual -- the right thing for me could be quite the wrong thing for you. It's a matter of listening to that little voice in your head when you've got decisions to make.

I'm still mulling that one over.

Amy and I were talking about self-esteem over the weekend. Her childhood was the pits, and if being treated like shit by parents and schoolmates alike is a recipe for low self-esteem, she should be the poster child for it. But she's not. She's an extremely confident woman who takes pride in her accomplishments and seems to let the assholes we all face in life just roll off her back.

She even said that she has memories of her mom and stepdad putting her down when she was really young (five or six, maybe) and thinking "They have no idea what they're talking about. They're just wrong."

So clearly, there's more to it than being treated badly in childhood. But what's the difference between her and someone whose parents were similar and whose self-esteem is in tatters?

Sometimes I think it's almost a case of having to say, "I deserve better than this," and behaving accordingly, even if you don't believe the statement at first.

The weird thing is, though, that lack of self-esteem doesn't necessarily keep people from being wildly successful. Howard Stern is the most insecure-sounding celebrity I can think of and yet he's nationally (in)famous and making millions of dollars.

Oh well. As usual, more questions than answers here at Franks and Beans.

My morning did not starting off well. I forgot the lunchmeat for my sub and I thought my milk was already at the office, but it wasn't. Dry cereal for breakfast. Yay. There was a lot of cussing coming from my office, much to the assistant administrator's amusement.

Fortunately I also brought a little leftover salmon and some apple slices to snack on, so I had that for breakfast, and I have a frozen dinner I can eat for lunch.

My big worry is that the lunch meat is sitting on the counter, not in the fridge. I really don't think it is, but if it is, I'm going to throw a fit and stomp around, probably.

Well, I think I'm going to wait 'til I get back from my vacation to do Part III of the E&P story. If y'all don't mind. If someone complains, I could do Part III tomorrow. I'm willing to be interactive here.

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