2001-02-08 - 5:26pm

Who's Who Cheat Sheet
Who I Read

On the internal soundtrack: "Brown Eyed Girl", Van Morrison

I saw Van Morrison singing that song on the VH-1 Greatest Songs show. Is he, um, differently-abled in any way? Because his mannerisms and way of singing gave me the willies. He looks like he's not all there mentally (like he's tripping) and like he's got a mouthful of marbles. I know singers like to sing in their own off-beat (literally) ways, but the thing I saw, it was like he would sort of forget where he was supposed to come in for each line.

The song is currently kind of ruined for me, but that might wear off.

OK, there will be no sociopolitical commentary in this entry. And probably not the next several entries, either. Even though I am reading libertarian Larry Elder's book and loving it, especially the chapter about health care, since I work in that field. If any of my libertarian rantings have sounded the slightest bit interesting, check out that book or the "Contents" section of the web site.

My plan for today is:

1. To discuss the phone call we got the other night, and

2. To begin the very long-winded version of the Poindexter-and-Evelynne story. So that I don't forget all the little details that were so much fun to remember when we first got together. And still are, actually.

Ok, so we're watching TV, the phone rings, Poindexter picks up. He's walking back toward the couch and he stops, with an odd look on his face, then he says, "MILDRED! How ARE you!"

Mildred is the crazy ex-landlady.

I was shocked. After all this Mildred gossip with R&R, and the long-winded entry about her, suddenly she calls us.

Now, I tend to be paranoid, so I get all panicky thinking some relative of hers (or even her, although she's well over 65 years old) read the entry on the internet and she's calling to chew me out.

(I mentioned this particular paranoia to Poindexter and he said, "It's a good thing you never tried pot.")

They went through the whole thing, how are you, how's the house, any kids yet, etc. Then finally Mildred got to the point, which I would never have guessed in a million (heh) years.

The male half of the tenants in the house before us had been on the Millionaire show recently and won $125,000. She must have just been dying to talk to someone else who had known the guy, so she called us. That's pretty freaky! I tried finding a picture of him on the web site, but couldn't (only the most recent $125K winner). His name is on the winners list though.

How odd.

I hope she never calls us ever again.

All righty, here we go. My own personal Lifetime special.

Evelynne and Poindexter: A Love Story

This story begins during World War II.

Yes, I know, we weren't alive yet. Just listen.

A man by name of Gerald Fitzpatrick, joined the army. He happened to be in the same unit as a man named Patrick Fitzgerald. (No, those are not their real names, but they were both Irish, and I like names that start with Fitz, plus I heard a stupid joke once. Moving on:)

Since their names were close together alphabetically, they met by proximity. And became friends. And had a lot of very wild adventures, including one incident involving a motorcycle and some steps.

Now Gerald was engaged to marry a woman named Peggy. He invited Patrick to the wedding. While there, Patrick met Peggy's friend Kelly. And he fell hard. From what I hear Kelly played hard to get for a while.

When Gerald and Peggy had their first daughter, Bonnie, Gerald and Patrick were stationed in California. Kelly lived with Gerald and Peggy for a while and helped take care of the baby.

Eventually, Kelly succumbed to Patrick's hilariously funny charms, and married him. They had six children. The second child was a daughter named Renee.

After the war, one family settled in Indiana and the other in Pennsylvania, but the friendship continued. In the summers, the families used to gather at one place or another. Renee and Bonnie were fairly close in age, and used to put on little plays in the back yard with all their brothers and sisters.

As children do, Renee and Bonnie grew up. Bonnie stayed on the east coast, and Renee and her parents moved to California. The parents stayed friends. Both daughters got married, and had children of their own.

Renee had a son named Poindexter, and Bonnie had a daughter two years later, named Evelynne.

While Bonnie was pregnant with Evelynne, she met up with Renee and her adorable little son at Renee's brother's funeral. It was a very sad occasion. The brother -- on of the ones who put on those plays in the back yard, had barely been in his 20s and had died of brain cancer. Renee had been very close to him. She's told me a lot of hilarious stories about the two of them growing up.

But, if you'll allow me to stretch things a little bit, that was the first time we met.

Coming up next: Sixteen-year-old goody-goody Evelynne meets just-graduated beer-drinking long-haired-headbanger Poindexter.

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