2001-07-18 - 8:04 p.m.

On the internal soundtrack: "Stairway to Heaven"

TMI! TMI! TMI! TMI! TMI!

You've been warned! If you're not interested in knowing when I'm dressed and when I'm not, leave now!

So, Amy and I are planning to go to the nude beach in North Jersey this Saturday. So far the weather looks like mid-80s, sunny, and probably muggy, which should be perfect. Otherwise we'd be too cold. Her 3-year-old son is coming with us. This particular beach is supposed to be very family-friendly, with -- god bless 'em -- State Troopers patrolling, presumably to tell the freaks to get a room when necessary and shoo away the gawkers and unwelcome cameras. It'll be great.

While looking for directions to the beach I got distracted by the writings of a militant nudist. By militant (my word o' the month, wouldn'tcha say?), I mean someone who is all nude, all the time. Minute they walk in the door of their home, they're nude. Outdoors, they're nude. They go to nude parties so they can socialize nude. They get upset when someone who likes nude beaches doesn't immediately get nude whenever possible in all other situations. Clothes are "itchy" and "constricting".

This is interesting. I'm not a militant nudist. I don't have a problem with clothes. I like them just fine, and while I am currently having a love affair with clothes enriched with spandex (STRETCH jeans that GIVE when I sit DOWN! Woo!), I don't generally find them constricting or annoying. But when I'm in the privacy of my own home, if the temperature is comfortable, clothes are a take-it-or-leave-it kinda thing. I come home from exercising, am gross but not ready to take a shower (I like to cool off first, for some weird reason), so I take all my clothes off and forget to put them back on. Clothes make me crazy when sleeping (all that bunching up). After I shower, sometimes it's a while before I get dressed (I like to air dry, y'know, and then I forget to put clothes on). And swimming and sitting around outdoors in muggy weather is really much, much better with no clothes.

I even like the social atmosphere of nude beaches, at which I've heard people described as "aggressively friendly". I don't, however, have the slightest desire to go to somebody's house to hang out indoors with a bunch of naked people. I guess that personally, I think nudity should be incidental, or situational. Like, if you're hot, you should be able to take your clothes off. Rather than, "I am going to X's house and be naked with a bunch of other naked people." It just sounds too planned.

So, now I move from one fringe activity to another. Due to several references in various journals about polyamory, I got to thinking about that. Brought it up to Poindexter when I arrived home from work yesterday.

"So, polyamory. How about it?"

"No."

I guess this is not an option for us. Alas. There are some attractive libertarian men out there. ;)

Brought it up with Kevin today, who suggested jokingly that exploring polyamory was a common pursuit of new Objectivists. Something about studly male Objectivists convincing nubile female Objectivists to have (or allow the males to have) multiple partners. It made me snicker, but that wasn't what I was talking about.

I mean, real polyamory. More than one love. Like when you meet someone and love them and have a relationship with them, and then someone else comes along and you love them too. You love them both. Why choose? I'm not talking about brief infatuations, either. I'm talking about a case where you know two people who are equally well-suited to being your life partner, and you love them both. I don't believe that there is only one "soul mate" for everyone, so occasionally some people are going to run into more than one of them in a lifetime. What to do then?

If I were to fall in love with someone else, Poindexter would be an all-or-nothing kinda guy. I'd have to choose. One or the other.

Me, though, if he's the one in love with someone else ... I look at these options. No Poindexter at all, or, Roughly Half of Poindexter. Which is better? I really almost think I'd choose Half of Poindexter. Perhaps I'm saying this from the comfortable position of knowing that, barring some really drastic circumstances, I will never have to make this choice. I don't know.

The really funny thing is that if Poindexter truly loved another woman, as much as he loves me, it's almost inevitable that I'd like her a lot. The things that we are each the most drawn to in other people are the same things.

Heck, I'd probably like her so much that we could probably all live together and be happy as clams. We'd need a bigger bed, though. Poindexter in the middle, a woman on either side, a triple spoon. Sex on alternate nights and on Sunday everybody rests.

Seriously, though, I am wondering about the logistics of this. In practicing polyamorous relationships, it seems like it would be really difficult juggling one's time between two loves. Not to mention the problems with jealousy. Or if you're the one sharing, always knowing that you weren't enough to be number one to this person; that you won in a tie. It's got to be painful sometimes. Maybe it's less painful, though, than not having the person at all.

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